Tuesday, 16 December 2008

• SO. lets clear things up.

  i received a very.....hrm......unpleasant comment on my last blog. which happened to totally piss me off, and made me realize that i need to clear some things up about my situation.

  i did NOT steal him away from her. i did NOT make it a point to make him mine. he wanted to be with me for a long time. i was always myself around him. i did not seduce him in any way.

  YES i AM grown in the point that i did not call and stoop to her level of childishness when she basically put my business on myspace - the root of all evil lol - or how she's telling anyone who will listen about what a horrible person i am.

  i truly dont want to talk to her. she needs to cool down. idk how long that will take bc we've never ever faught before about anything. but i think the most that i will do for right now is send her another text message and try to explain a few things and apologize again and tell her to just cool off for a min and maybe one day we can sit down and talk about it.

  she is my second best friend. not my number one. my number one was the one who was on the phone with me at 3 am after this shit hit the fan. she was the one listening to me cry and get mad and worry that night. she has always been there for me and she was the one who really told me about myself - which i could still appreciate, even tho ive already beaten myself to a pulp.

  on top of everything i caught hell from him of all people. he feels guilty knowing that he helped to tear apart our friendship, and is now trying to fix it - however that may be. i couldnt help but scream at him over how much anguish i was going through and pain and being hurt...and he just couldnt console me man.

  i did not choose either of them over the other. i dont want to go with out either of them. i feel the same about both. i love them dearly. but if they wanna walk, they can walk. i dont want to lose them. i need him bc he's such a major part of my everyday life. i need her bc she's a good friend when she is active in my life - to which she really isnt right now [[and the past 4 months]] bc of her boyfriend and work and whatever else she's got going on in her life. but i jus feel like if they feel some kind of way about it, i wont beg to keep anybody. it wont kill me and i will get over it.

  if you're gona leave a comment, please please be mindful of how you say things. this is still a sensitive time for me. and while i appreciate your comments, i appreciate it even more if you watch what you say and how you put it. -thanks.

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